Saturday, January 23, 2010

Watch Your Back, Suckah....

Revenge... I am positive that this is something we have all contemplated at one point or another. I mean who hasn't gotten pissed off at something someone has done to them and then crossed over to their dark and twisted place and thought about ways to make them feel as shitty as they have made you feel. The only question I have is, is it an ethical form of therapy or is it morally unjust? And if you do it, what constitutes crossing the line? How far can you really go? Ok.. So I have three questions about it.

I have been broken up with, and I have done my fair share of the breaking up. But there is something so gut wrenching about finding out that someone no longer wishes to spend time with you in a romantic setting. When ever this has happened to me I literally have to stop myself from finding his home address and mailing him a box of rotten meat. Note to anyone I date in the future, I have yet to do this. Yet.... I have also had visions of showing up to his place of residence and slapping him in the face with rotten meat while screaming, "DOUCHE LORD!" at him. Again, I could never do this... rotten meat is pretty disgusting and I'm mostly positive that I don't want to touch it.

I have a friend, S, who had a brilliant and hilarious form of revenge she dished out to a former flame. He had broken her heart, so she pranked him with pubes. She mailed them to him, glued them to his front door, and car. She put them anywhere and everywhere she could put them, unbeknownst to him. And they weren't just her "material." She used her friends, both male and female, as well as one of her friend's mom. Too far or hysterical?

I'm pretty sure most everyone has also had the experience of having a friend blast them publicly behind their back. It hurts even more when it is someone who was close to you and maybe knows some of your darker secrets. This, too, is an experience I wish was not so close to me. When this happened to me I had the thought of taking their picture and putting it on craigslist with a caption that read, "I am into being anal fisted, golden showers, and anonymous group sex. Please be clinically obese and unshowered. Scat play is available, for the right person... or anyone who is willing to take a dump on my face. I could also be into animals. Please send pictures of you and your dog to my cell phone at ***-***-**** or my email at ***@***.***. Bonus if you can show up at my house in clown makeup. And please only dirty talk, the filthier the better." But I'm pretty sure there is something illegal about this. I have never, nor will ever, do this.... no matter how much I may want to at the time.

Another story of not so friendly revenge. My friend, A, had found out that all of his dark secretes from his sordid past had become public knowledge. He had only shared this information with a select few people. As time went on, he had finally eliminated everyone except the one who did it. Instead of directly approaching said friend and calling him out, he took what may not have been the highest of roads. He knew when said friends house was empty and he knew where the spare key to the front door was kept. He would let himself in, go to the bathroom and take the biggest dump his body could muster. He would then leave the house without flushing. Gross? Umm.. yeah. Hysterically brilliant? Totally! The best was when said friend would talk about it with us. He would say things like, "I thought at first maybe I just forgot to flush, but you guys, it's been a week and a half! I know I flushed before I left the house. I'm freaked out, yall! Someone is stalking me and they're letting me know it by shitting in my toilet!!" This is psychological war fare at it's best. I'm not sure said friend ever found out who it was or why... Eh, bygones.

Now, I have never personally sought revenge to these extremes... or ever sought it, really. I was, fortunately for all of you out there, raised with a continence and could absolutely never do anything as drastic as these forms of revenge. No, I have always taken the high road and held strong in my belief in karma and that they would, in the end, get their just desserts. By acting out and getting revenge, you may feel justified in it and great for a short while. Then it sinks in, you are no better than them. In fact, you retaliated in a mean, dark, twisted way and that means bad karma for you. No, sadly, revenge is not morally or ethically acceptable. Any sort of it crosses a line, be it socially, spiritually, or personally. Now, as to how far is too far, that's between you and whatever higher power you believe in. This isn't to say it isn't fun, or even healing on some level, to think about. We are all flawed people, and I don't need you to show me how bad my decision making skills are by violently acting it out for me and making my life difficult for a short time. Besides, if you feel so inclined to do this to me, I might feel inclined to get over my fear of touch rotten meat and I am positive you don't want me slapping you in the face with that. It's just something to think about....

1 comment:

  1. It is in giving that we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. . . Make me an instrument of Your peace.